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1999-09-27: Ben Khans Elopes


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Pacific Edition

Ben Khans Elopes

Author: Genn Wintord Published: September 27, 1999



Many citizens have noticed of late that everyone’s favorite bartender has not been in his tavern in the last month or so. Ben posted on his board early into his absence that he was taking a fast, some kind of silly NuJel’mite male ‘coming of age’ ritual, related to his engagement. Finally I decided to investigate, and took the next ship to NuJel’m.

My investigations didn’t take long, though. Ben’s lovely mother Celyis Kahns met me at the door of the Kahns estate, with a small smile, as if she had been expecting me. After my inquiries as to Ben’s location, she handed me piece of vellum parchment, an elegantly written letter from Ben. Thus it follows:

"To whom it concerns,
Greetings! As you may have noticed, I’ve been absent from the bar of late. Well, as it turns out, things didn’t happen quite as I planned.
While in my isolation, in a location that I will not name for secrecy’s sake, I decided, after being in a rather nasty knotted pose for several hours, contemplating my thumb, that the whole situation was just bloody silly. In addition, the problems of running the bar and being married were like a giant granite block in my head, which wouldn’t go away, and was weighing me down. I realized about then that the simplest answer to any problem is to not have the problem in the first place. It became clear to me that I could not have both my dear Lissa, and my tavern. So I decided, and set off.
A few days ago, Lissa and me were happily married in a discrete and private ceremony, and after we have set off to live happily ever after. I’m afraid, though, that this means that I will not be returning to the Great Horns, Magincia, or anywhere else known for some time. I’ve reached a point in my life where I need to seek new horizons and find new places to explore. And with my dear Lissa with me, how grand the adventure shall be!
Naturally I have informed my employer, the Lord Hobart of Magincia, of my decision. He assured me in writing that he would seek out a new bartender to replace me that would be worthy of my name, although he admitted he’d be hard-pressed to do so. Myself, I am happy to leave my customers in the capable hands of the Gathered Spirits Tavern, the city of Paws, and the many other places that now have a chance to shine. I wish luck to them all, and hope that they have as much fun and profit as I did. And who knows? Perhaps one day I will come in and have a drink! Virtue knows I’ve earned one…
Sincerely,
Erystalben ‘Ben’ Kahns"

Well, I would say this letter about explains it all. I myself will be sorry to see Ben go, but I can certainly understand why. I hope that all of Britainnia will drink a toast tonight to the memory of Ben, and the legacy he leaves behind!