2011-05-18: My Journal


My Journal

Author: Helena Von Wyck Published: May 18, 2011



Note, this was written by a player. However, the EMs adopted it as 'official' EM storyline fiction.

Day 1

Well, father will just have to accept that I will not be running his shop now or ever. I told him that it is simply not my calling and that I wanted to be a healer. I wanted to help people. He just looked at me and then walked out of the shop. They will let me go I swear it! Now I just have to figure a way to tell Mother…

Day 2

So, after all the china was swept off the floor and the liquor bottles righted, she stormed out of the house tearing at her breast. I thought it went well.

Day 3

Mother is still acting like it’s the end of the world. She weeps openly and for no reason now and is scaring father’s customers away. If she keeps this up, people will send her off to Paws (Chesapeake)! Father is not speaking to me at all, just shakes his head or pretends to be checking ledgers when I come into the room. The caravan leaves in a fortnight, I have that much time to convince them to let me go.

Day 4

Today was much better, at least mother was not crying – well not all morning. She’s now taken to hollering disjointed thoughts at me during odd times. “It is not proper for a young woman of your stature,” she yelled while I was gathering invoices for father. I dropped the whole stack on the floor and had to re-organize them.

Day 5

Mother was all smiles this morning. I quickly ran the other way when I saw that.

Day 6

“What about Luke?” was the question served up with dinner. Now, if THAT was supposed to entice me to stay, she was gravely mistaken. That goat-faced troll would fondle a pig if given the chance! I should tell her all about him….

  • detailed drawing of Luke with a goat face trying to kiss a reluctant pig*

Day 7

I have tried again and again to explain to my parents that people are needed at Paws (Chesapeake). There has been much yelling back and forth about it over the past several weeks, what the neighbors must think of us now! But, I am going. With or without their blessings, I am going. Even if I have to sneak out in the dead of night…

Day 16

The trunks are all packed and I’m ready to leave! I feel frightened and excited at the same time! Good-bye Mother and Father! Good-bye Vesper! Good-bye salty sea air and noisy seabirds! Good-bye dumb bridges everywhere!

Day 17

My travelling companions are so nice! There’s another girl here about my age, pretty too, I wish I had her hair! The few sick people are in the last wagon, riding behind us. I’m not allowed to go near them yet, but the monk riding with us has been quizzing me on herbs and such. I’m learning so much, can’t wait to start helping out.

Day 19

Nausea much better today, what I wouldn’t give to be standing on a bridge for 5 minutes inhaling the fresh air. The wagons are cramped and crowded – we are elbow to elbow. Perhaps I should have brought the more practical dresses that I’ve seen the common folk wearing….this silk sticks to you like a second skin. I never thought passage to the city would be so, rough.

Day 21

Feeling much better today Brother (I always forget his name) gave me some kind of tea to settle my stomach. Hopping out and walking alongside the wagon helps too – lessy bumpy. My dress is destroyed, mud all over the bottom ripped hem, but when I get back home I’m sure the tailor can fix it.

We’re almost there! They say we should be seeing the city soon!

Day 24

Well, it wasn’t exactly how I expected it to look, but… I was a bit surprised to see the city was being fenced in by high walls. Construction everywhere! And not even your average height – beyond what I’m accustomed to. Maybe they want to keep prying eyes away.

Day 25

I asked Lazarus, the head healer, why they were building the walls so high, he just pushed past me muttering under his breath. He’s not a very friendly man and I get the impression that he doesn’t like all of the new construction happening here…I wonder what it’s for..

Day 32

Been mixing poultices all day long. Not quite what I had in mind as “helping”. It’s not too bad, but grinding the oats into a fine powder is tiring. I asked what the liquid was that it gets mixed with and I was told I didn’t want to know.

Day 35

Today they had me crushing of all things, buttercups! Athara kept bringing bundles and bundles in – the whole table was covered in them.

Day 36

Garlic.

Day 39

More Garlic. Had I wanted to be slicing and chopping so much I’d have run away to Good Eats in Britain!!

Day 41

Finally! I can help! Brother Augustine (that’s his name!) said I was a quick learner. I wrote Mother and Father the night I arrived, but I’m told the post is very slow and it takes time for messages to go back and forth. I hope they still aren’t mad.

Day 46

I’ve been treating some people. Most with skin afflictions, it’s mainly wrapping their arms or legs with linen bandages and oatmeal flour. For a few it staves off the constant itch, and one person even looked much better after a few days.

Day 48

Saw Annie today – she looks like such a sweet little girl. Cries terribly because she misses her parents. I’m not allowed to go near the more serious cases. They think she has little-pox. But still, who could send such a small child away so far from home?

Day 55

I don’t understand why some people must remain here even after they’re cured. There was a nice old woman named Edith that I was taking care of, the rash on her arm was NOT what the healer was claiming it was – I don’t care if he’s been at this for a million years. It was a simple case of silverleaf rash. She went to leave and was stopped at the gate. There was some kind of argument, but I couldn’t hear it well enough. Two guards walked her back to the infirmary.

Day 58

I still haven’t seen Edith, I asked after her and was told that she left in the evening hours with a departing caravan towards home. I wish her well.

Day 67

Seems that each day more and more people arrive. It’s starting to get a bit crowded here. I still haven’t heard from mother or father and it’s been two months already.

Day 78

Been very busy. I barely have time to sit let alone write in my journal. Still no word from home. Mother and Father must be terribly mad at me.

Day 84

I went to try and stretch my legs today and was stopped at the gate by the guard. Why we even need guards is…anyway, was told there were brigands about, so I’ll try again tomorrow.

Day 85

More people today! Carts and carts! Lazarus oversees everyone coming in and then sorts them and sends them to different huts for treatment. There seemed to be a good number of people that looked quite healthy to me.

Day 89

Brother Augustine showed me how to prepare different dressings, oils and elixirs for coughs today.

Day 90

There is a handsome fellow, think his name is Zack – came with the new arrivals the other day. Makes my heart pound hard in my chest when I see him. He was walking around outside today, has the most amazing colored eyes. Why can’t the boys back home look like him instead of goat-face? I hope I get assigned to his hut..Ack! Look at what I’m writing! Oh bother! No one will ever see this but me.

  • drawings of hearts cover the page with the name Zack in the middle *

Day 93

Still more people arriving today, I asked Lazarus why more huts couldn’t be built if they were able to contruct these blasted walls around everything, he went red in the face and stormed off.

Day 98

Snuck in to see Annie again tonight, she’s growing very fond of the stories I tell her. She even asked me if she could be a princess one day when she gets older. If I had known children would be her (what a dolt I am!) I would’ve brought some things from Father’s store with me.

Day 100

The whole city is aflutter – there supposedly is a very important doctor that will making a visit here. The rumour is that he’s trained in many different areas of medicine and will be bringing a huge retinue of assistants with him! It’s exactly what we need. Our supplies are running dangerously low with the constant influx of people.

Day 102

Brother Augustine and Lazarus were having a very heated debate this afternoon. I’ve never seen Brother so angry. Lazarus spotted me and then they both went inside.

Day 106

Blazing horsehides! Zack’s been making eyes at that other healer….I can’t remember her name, she was in the caravan with me. I can’t help but feel some smug satisfaction that she’s leaving tomorrow. Going with a group of people to retrieve that doctor and gather more herbs and such. Maybe I can get assigned to him……..

Day 109

Pure mayhem, with a good deal of the healers gone off to bring that doctor back we’ve been shorthanded on help. I’m not even eating tonight, just going straight to bed. Still no word from home, Lazarus said that when everyone returns there may be a letter or two. I’d like to remain hopeful, but I fear that my family is the price I’ve paid in choosing to come here.

Day 116

The new doctor will be here soon! Unfortunately Zack’s healer-girl comes back too, but we’ll have supplies and new medicines and bandages and….I’m so relieved. It has been rough. Zack has been looking markedly better, I would even say that he may be well enough to return home. Saw him and another boy, Jonas – both were running around and tossing a coconut back and forth as a sort of makeshift ball.

Day 117

Lazarus has been acting very strange. I mean he’s been a strange fellow since I’ve been here, but I would think he’d be happy, elated even, that reinforcements are coming. New doctor, more medicines, more help. It almost seems like he’s been avoiding those of us who’ve stayed behind. Hasn’t spoken to anyone, avoids looking at us. Odd.

Day 119

The doctor arrived this evening as dusk was falling. Perhaps it was just the gloomy atmosphere of that particular time of day, and the weather, but …no, I’m being silly. My knowledge of people in the world is limited to Vesper and Paws (Chesapeake), what do I really know about the various customs or dress of foreigners? Still, in the dim light it almost looked as if the black robes he wore swirled with a life all their own. I must be tired! I’m sure proper introductions will be made in the morning.

Day 122

I went to check on Annie today and cannot find her. It’s taken me awhile but I managed to sew a doll out of one of my dresses for her. I’ll ask Lazarus if she’s been moved.

Day 124

Since the arrival of that doctor, I can’t seem to get a good night’s sleep. Something keeps waking me up…………….Annie……………….it’s curious………………never thought………..* most of the entry is illegible, with wax droplets dotting the page* Day 125

Lazarus said that Annie’s been moved but that he’ll see to it that she gets the doll. Poor thing, I hope it cheers her. I made it from the blue silk dress I wore here, a princess doll has to have a proper princess dress.

Day 129

Back on “kitchen’ duty again. More crushing, steeping and preparing elixirs. It wouldn’t be so bad if: 1.) it wasn’t so mindnumbingly boring and 2.) if I were getting a good night’s rest. I fell asleep scraping mandragora today. Had the knife in my hand and everything. Sybil took it from me before it slipped to the floor and then sent me off to bed. Maybe just a nap…..

Day 132

I know it’s silly to keep writing home. Mother and Father will never send a reply, but in telling them how I am and all that goes on – well it keeps me sane. I still give the letters to Lazarus to post, perhaps one day they will find it in their hearts to forgive me.

Day 138 Just realized, Jonas and Zack have not been around lately. They were always outside – even if they weren’t throwing that stupid coconut around.

Day 142

Zack seems to have taken a turn for the worse, I’ve asked that girl about him. She wouldn’t look me in the eyes so it must be very grave.

Day 141

I’m exhausted. Even Sybil says I am not looking well. With so many people here now, I’m running from sun up to sun down. We’ve been moved to another house of healers, double the beds and barely enough room to dress. Perhaps things will get better.

Day 143

The doctor rarely comes out of his house/houses. One is for patients and the other is his own personal residence. Very curious man, I’ve seen him only in the evenings and at night.

Day 149

Was so lost in thought today, that as I was bringing fresh water and bandages to patients, didn’t realize which way I walking until it was too late. Looked up to see five guards rushing at me, dropped the bowl and it shattered into a thousand shards. I wasn’t even aware that I was headed toward house seven.

Day 151

Starting to get very crowed here. We may even run out of beds.

Day 155

Lazarus has been acting stranger than what is normal – even for him. Brother Augustine hurries by me with barely a moment to talk.

Day 163

Lazarus came to me today with a vial full of some viscous liquid that tastes absolutely disgusting. He says that by order of the doctor all healers in my house are to drink this everyday. Apparently someone was exposed to something and this is a preventative measure so we don’t fall ill. Upset my stomach.

Day 167

I’ve been assigned to the “dying house” as it’s called. Patients who have no chance of living – most are the ones the doctor has seen exclusively since his arrival. Poor souls, some are in such agony the only thing to do is keep pouring whiskey down their throats. The others who talk are delusional, saying things like the doctor is a demon, the doctor is killing them… whiskey rarely works on those.

Day 170

Been a week and that concoction I’ve been drinking has had me running to the outhouse every new hour. I hope that I am finished with this “preventative” measure. The cure seems worse than the disease.

Day 173

Had a terrible fright today. As I was leaning over an older woman to check her bandages, her eyes snapped open and her hand shot out and caught my arm in a vice-like grip. She kept saying, “he has souless eyes…they glow, watch when they glow….” and then fell back onto the pillows. It took everything in me not to turn and bolt out the door.

Day 177

I was flipping through my journals and noticed a lot of the strange things happening started when that doctor arrived. I’m getting nervous and wonder about our work here. I wonder about the future of Paws (Chesapeake).

Day 179

Agatha, that is her name. I had to find out, been calling her Lady Death Grip, and that’s not really a kind thing. Spoke to the other girl on duty in there with me and asked her if the patients were saying anything odd – she said that most of them do because they are delirious, delusional and crazy.

Day 181

Agatha was awake today, I was very careful not to lean over her. She seemed rather alert. When she went to speak though I hurried out of the room.

Day 183

Mari came to get me today, burst into the kitchen saying Agatha was asking for me and in a terrible state. I ran back to the house with her as quick as I could. She refused to talk unless I sent Mari out of the room. Then pulled me down close and whispered … soulless eyes, so beautiful and terrifying….get away from here, go far away.. find your way home…. and, and then she died!

Day 185

That’s it I’ve had it, I can’t stop thinking about what the old woman said. I’m on the next caravan out of here.

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