1999-02-19: Varmints Vanquished!

Catskills & Chesapeake Editions

Varmints Vanquished!

Author: Bernward Woodstein Published: February 19, 1999

Here in a small hamlet west of Britain, one man has seen the horrors of nature unleashed and the heroism of mankind. Our story starts with Carl, an esteemed farmer whose crops fill the shops of Britain, and a day usually filled with hard labor and sacrifice, Harvest Day.

Waking from his sleep just before dawn, Carl heard a distressing sound coming from his fields. As he walked to his window he was shocked to see what he described as “a field so covered in varmints I could’na see the ground”. Grabbing a shepherd’s crook, Carl tried his best, he says, to rid the fields of the small, furry pests but realized he was in far over his head.

“I was a’right till the blasted bunnies started biting," Carl said with horror, obviously still shaken from the incident. "I would lie down and die fer me blessed greens but I knew I could’na stop those varmints. I needed help.”

And help he received.

Carl went into the city of Britain and began asking for aid from the local citizens gathered around the City Bank. There he met the mighty Thundarr, the heralded Morgoth, the acclaimed horsemen ORE Bringer and the masterful Pegasus III. With these powerful heroes in tow, Carl returned to the fields he had abandoned and watched with glee as the “foul beasties were pulverized”.

Afterwards, Carl thanked his saviours and granted them all a generous reward in gold as well as all the greens they could eat. But perhaps the heroes left with much more, having seen the unbridled and untamed ferocity of nature conquered at their own hands.