2000-08-20: Bethany, The Baker’s Daughter Has Been Rescued!

Catskills Edition

Bethany, The Baker’s Daughter Has Been Rescued!

Author: Alec, Baker o’ Trinsic Published: August 20, 2000

As I did sit at tha table in the Felucca Cat’s Lair Tavern in Britain, it were only tha ale that would salve me sorrow. For me daughter Bethany had been taken away from me! As she and I were bakin tha bread for our Trinsic custom, a “lady” in red gown did enter tha bakery, cast a spell o’ paralyzation on me and took me darlin’ daughter who had just loaded her backpack with the daily delivery. When I could move, I ran after em, only to see em disappear out tha west gate o’ Trinsic.

Well I were in me cups a bit when I were approached by another soul o’ like condition. He rode a horse and did call imself SoulFly. And he ask o’ me “How are ya?” Well I did tell im! And he did, drunk though he be, offer his help. He did insist tha he alone could get me daughter back, but I be not tha big a fool, een when tha ale hae made me bolder!

We did find his friend Golubus Monkey and others bold enough to help at tha bank and then did travel to tha Trinsic gate. There we spied a loaf o’ stale bread on tha road. As we looked west, more bread did we see. Bethany, I thought, must hae dropped tha bread as the evil one did carry her off!

We followed tha trail, only to be set upon by evil mages, appearing in an instant as we approached tha bread. Me companions, brave and true, did fend off tha villains and we came to tha mountain west o’ town. There beside tha rock wall lay Bethany’s backpack, with three remaining loaves! Praise the Virtues tha she dinnae run out o’ tha loaves!

I hae nae been to tha mount afore, but me companions did find a crack in tha wall that lead to a tunnel. In tha tunnel were a glowing crystal tha did pulse red and green. As we spoke, our voices did echo in tha tunnel and the crystal did seem to vibrate.

We proceeded with haste through tha tunnel and did enter a valley o’ strange beauty, surrounded on all sides by steep mountain walls. But tha beauty were but a distraction, for as soon as we came into tha light at tha end o’ tha tunnel, we were beset upon by groups o’ monsters – ettins, orcs, wild things o’ all kinds! Me companions did fight gallantly, though several were slain in tha process. And behind the groups stood the evil Merilla – clad in her red gown and urging her “pets” to slay us all!

While most fought, Da Wizard did find me darlin daughter inside a tower where she hae been kept in a cell whose locks were weak enough tha it were opened by force alone. She did emerge, shaken but alive. As she wailed and wimpered, it were all I could do to keep her calm while tha fight continued.

By tha graces we did prevail. There were one of us – Gazull Thraka were his name – who did much ta win tha battle! The pets were slain and me companions did turn their spears and swords on Merilla. She did prove tougher than a hundred o’ her pets! Tha fight were long and she seemed invulnerable. But she were eventually slain. Golubus claimed his trophy, Marzilla’s red robe, and put it on himself! Gaw, were he a sight!

We rested a bit and then set off for our shop. As tha fates would have it, we were agin set upon by orc leaders as we walked through tha woods. And as we reached the safety o’ tha pathway, a gargoyle did appear and block our way. I yelled at Bethany to “run” and, after she did stumble and fall a bit, off she went!

When all did return safely behind Trinsic’s walls, I did convey me thanks and what little by way o’ material things I could to me new friends. Bethany, flirt tha she is, did herself bestow her own reward – a maiden’s kiss - on tha horseman who hae been one o’ tha strongest o’ tha band!

Thank tha Virtues me daughter be home again! Now back to tha bakin’!